Managing Holiday Stress: Balancing Joy and Overwhelm

Ever feel overwhelmed by the holiday hustle? Join me in the Tea Tasting room where we unravel the complexities of holiday stress and learn to reclaim joy and balance. Discover the art of setting boundaries amidst family dynamics, social obligations, and the relentless pursuit of perfection. Together, we'll navigate financial strains, focusing on maintaining mental health, encouraging authenticity, and finding peace in the chaos. 

In our pursuit of a more meaningful festive season, we champion the importance of downtime as a crucial aspect of your well-being. Dive into the concept of crafting a 'joy list,' a collection of activities that genuinely uplift and center your spirit, like savoring hot chocolate or enjoying tranquil morning walks. These simple pleasures, often overlooked, are the key to managing stress and embracing genuine happiness beyond the usual seasonal pressures. We'll explore how intentionality in scheduling personal time can transform your holiday experience, encouraging you to envision what a truly joyful season means for you. Let’s ensure this holiday is not just about meeting expectations but nurturing our true selves and well-being.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Holiday Stress With Boundaries
• 8:46 Prioritizing Downtime and Joy Lists

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living while doing it all. Hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I hope you've done something for yourself Since the last week we met here in the tea tasting room Again.

Speaker 1: 0:33

You know, we're all about taking care of ourselves and being intentional with the things that we do. Now we are in a whole new month. I don't know. October came and went like Usain Bolt at this point in time, okay, I can't believe that. We're in November and before you know it, it's going to be the holiday season. I just don't know.

Speaker 1: 0:49

So, as the year draws to an end, can't believe we're even saying that you know, many of us may start feeling the familiar pull of the holiday season. You know that's usually for me a time of connection, reflection and even sometimes that can be a bit, a bit of overwhelm as well. So this month of November because I know a lot of November people that I know the Scorpio, the Sagittarius, you know this is the best month according to them. I don't know who fooled them, but we're not going to get into that. But for this month, though, I am excited to focus on all things that's related to managing our mental health, finding things that's related to managing our mental health, finding balance and making space for joy, even during the busyness of this season as well. So, my friend, over the next few episodes, we're going to be diving into some of the common challenges and emotions the holiday season brings. That's from managing family dynamics and financial pressures to embracing self-care and reflecting on our own growth. Okay. So, each episode, we're going to be here to help you to navigate the season with calm and intention. You know that's the big word for me intention, okay. So whether you're looking for strategies to handle holiday stress, ways to make space for your own wellbeing, or even just tips on how to find joy in the later moments, your girl Tanya has got you covered. Okay, I'm going to be joined by some incredible guests who share their insights on balancing joy and overwhelm, coping with loss and setting intentions for the new year, because, in our hour, we level up in 2025, okay, we are going to be leveling up in 2025, all right. So I'm so glad to have you here with me this month and I hope these episodes are going to bring you some sort of peace, inspiration and support as we move through this beautiful but sometimes challenging season together.

Speaker 1: 2:29

All right, let's get into it. So, my friend, for many of us, this holiday season can be a mix of excitement, nostalgia, joy and just let's be real okay, a bit of overwhelm. I don't care what nobody says. This holiday season can be a bit of overwhelm, I don't care what nobody says. This holiday season can be a bit of overwhelm sometimes because, when you think about it, between planning what Events, visiting family and navigating holiday expectations, it's very easy to feel stretched thin. Okay, so on this episode, I want to offer you some small but practical ways to balance both the joy and, of course, the inevitable stress that can come with this year, especially this time of year. So on this episode, we're going to be talking about finding peace, setting boundaries and, of course, embracing the holidays in a way that feels right for you. Okay, so you know what to do, my friend. Grab your favorite cup of tea, take a deep breath and let's talk about managing holiday stress in a way that allows you to be true to yourself. So let me go back, take a deep breath, so let's inhale and let's exhale One more time. Let's inhale, hold and then exhale. All right, now we got it out of the way, let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 3:43

So I want to talk about understanding holiday stress. Let's start by acknowledging the sources of holiday stress, and I think many of us feel pressure to create these quote unquote perfect experiences during the holidays Because, again, we live in a season where social media, everything's just always out there. So we have that pressure to create the perfect experience, you know. But when you think about it, perfectionism can make this season, this time of year, far more stressful than it needs to be. Okay, for some of us, it might be the family dynamics let's think about. You know, old patterns and expectations can resurface and that can feel overwhelming, you know.

Speaker 1: 4:22

For others, there's a financial aspect. When you have to think about gifts and travel and extra expenses, we can tend to feel very stretched financially. I've been there before, you know what I mean. So, of course, there's often the pressure to attend all these multiple social events, or fets that we call them, or you know, whatever it is where we have to feel obligated to show up, even when we rather just have a quiet night at home, because one thing about me I'm going to stay home, okay.

Speaker 1: 4:47

So what about you? Are any of these resonating? If so, I want you to take a moment just to acknowledge it. My friend, give yourself permission to recognize that holiday stress it's real, it's very, very real on you, it's very real, and that you're not alone in feeling it. Okay, we've all been there for one way or the other, I'm sure, experience some sort of holiday stress. Unless we can say it's real, like for me going up in the Caribbean household, it was overwhelming for me as a child having to get them out the curtains to iron, doing the Christmas cleaning and doing the most, just for what? For one day, for us to move on, and then everybody has to come back to the house again until the next December. You know what I mean. So definitely one for us to acknowledge that, that stress, and really figure out what is the source of our holiday stress as well.

Speaker 1: 5:39

Now let's talk about boundaries, and I think a key part of making this season manageable is for us to create or even expand the boundaries that we already set for ourselves in the previous month, and I think one of the best ways to reduce holiday stress is by setting clear boundaries with your family, friends and, guess what, even yourself. Now, I know this sounds super simple, and it is. It may sound simple, but again there are some tips that I'm going to share with you that I've done in the past and I've fallen off the wagon, but I know this time around it's going to be different, because I don't have the time Like I'm at my capacity right now with everything. So I definitely have to make sure that I'm setting these clear boundaries and sticking to them, especially during this time. So I want to talk about, you know, saying no when needed. That's the first thing Saying no when needed.

Speaker 1: 6:21

There's often this pressure to say yes to every single invitation or request, but remember again, saying no is sometimes the best and healthiest choice for you. Let's say, for example, an invitation feels overwhelming or simply doesn't align with your energy, a polite, you know, thank you so much for inviting me, but I won't be able to make it this time Simple. One sentence, my friend. One simple, simple sentence. You know that can be a way to honor your needs without feeling any sort of guilt. You know this ends up leaving you with more energy for the things that truly matters to you. I have a friend. One thing about her she does not play when it comes to her boundary. You could invite her, it doesn't matter what you can try to finesse the invite, and she said no, thank you. Thank you for the invite. So that's where I got that line from, because she doesn't play when it comes to her boundaries as well. So a simple no. Just say no when it's needed and just focus on the things that you want to that truly matters to you.

Speaker 1: 7:15

The other one is communicating your needs right. Communicating your needs openly doesn't matter who it is Like. I think, for example, certain family members or certain family behaviors or tradition can create stress. Let's be real. Like there's just so many things that when you were younger you had no say so. Now that you're older, it's like well, really, this is what you have me doing. So gentle communication can go a long way. We talk about gentle parenting. We talk about coming down to our children's level and talking to them. The same goes for us as an adult as well.

Speaker 1: 7:45

Even if you're older, gentle communication can go a long way. For instance, if a family member tends to drop by unannounced. You can simply say I'd love to spend time with you. Could you let me know a bit in advance so I can plan accordingly. I don't care if I'm like. My friend sent me a meme the other day and it was a picture of a person saying I don't care if I'm standing in the window, I'm not home. And I found that really funny because it was like, yeah, don't come to my place unannounced without letting me know. I need to know ahead of time so I can plan accordingly. So I think that having an open, kind communication can really ease some of the expectations that lead to holiday stress. So you just want to be left alone, you just don't want to be bothered sometimes, and I think that that's okay and I think once you do that it can work wonders for you really and truly Like politely decline, I don't care if you're standing at the door Like, no, you didn't tell me in advance, so no, I'm not ready, I got a reprogram on my brain, I don't feel like doing that, so no. So let's communicate your needs openly and in a very kind and gentle way as well.

Speaker 1: 8:46

The next thing is prioritizing downtime. Let me tell you it's easy to forget that rest is a necessity, not a luxury. So please, my friend, give yourself permission to schedule downtime and protect that with all your might. Okay, this could mean setting aside one evening a week to do something that's purely for you. That could be a cozy night in with a good book that's been my thing recently a bubble bath or a solo holiday movie marathon, because you know Netflix and Hallmark, they got all that movie, so you can go to Hallmark or Netflix and you can sit down and watch all the Christmas movies you can think of day in, day out. It doesn't even have to be a Christmas movie, it could be for me. I'm going to be. That time can help to bring you back to the center Again.

Speaker 1: 9:35

Even though we're talking about the holiday season, this can go for other days as well. You know, for me, during the week, I'm a busy, busy person. Being a full-time grad student, working full-time, running an nonprofit, full-time, having a podcast. There's so many things that I have to do. I'm going to have me an ice and a cup of tea and I'm going to be over here sipping on it, probably drinking some crackers with it, watching my TV, doing absolutely nothing. Because, again, that's how I prioritize my downtime. That's how I get to quiet my brain and bring it to the center as well. So, yes, three things, three simple things that you can do honestly to ensure that you are having and managing your holiday stress in a way that allows you to be true to yourself and that's you know again, saying no when needed, respecting that boundary, communicating your needs openly in a kind way, kind and gentle way and, of course, prioritizing me time, downtime for yourself, so that you're not overstimulated with everyone else being around you as well.

Speaker 1: 10:35

The last thing I want to talk about is something that a friend of mine. We decided that we're going to create A few months ago. Then we fell off and then we're kind of back in it again as we set up ourselves for 2025. But one of my favorite ways to approach the holiday season now, of course, is with intention you know that but also by creating a joy list. So that's a joy list.

Speaker 1: 10:54

Now, a joy list is essentially a very short list of things that truly brings you joy during this season. Not what others expect of you, but the things that fill you up, because we can't be pulling from an empty cup. So for some, that might be, you know, making hot chocolate, because one thing I'm going to try to do is make homemade hot chocolate. I haven't I haven't perfected the art yet, but I'm there enough. You know it can be drink now. So you know, at this point I'm making some strides here. But that could be also watching old movies. Make a Christmas of movies you want to watch. Put it on that list. You know, for some other people it could be a quiet walk in the early morning to just breathe and take it all in.

Speaker 1: 11:30

So, definitely, I encourage you to create a joy list that can work for the holiday season but, of course, throughout your everyday life. And it doesn't matter what you put on that list, as long as it's something that you know is going to bring you some semblance of joy, something as it relates to joy. It could be let me make a call to my pizza today. That's fine. It could be hey, let me call my girlfriend today to see what she's doing. Whatever it is that brings you joy, you're going to put it on that list, okay, because we're going to create. So I want us to try it together.

Speaker 1: 11:57

So take a moment to ask yourself what activities actually bring me joy this season, and then I encourage you, my friend, to write down at least five things. Now the idea is to center your holiday around these things, the ones that matter to who, to you, rather than letting it be filled up with obligations that might not, because, again, we're trying to put into ourselves. All right, my friend. So as you go about your holiday season, keep this list in mind and allow it to guide your decisions. Okay, you might find that prioritizing what brings you joy naturally helps you to set boundaries elsewhere. So it might sound like a simple, small task by creating a joy list, but it may also help you to prioritize what honestly brings you joy, even after the holiday season as well.

Speaker 1: 12:43

So, as I wrap up, I would like to leave you with a short reflection exercise. So yes, tanya's giving you some homework for you to come back into the tea tasting room next week and let me know how it went. But I do want you to take a few moments today you know that could be maybe while you're sipping your favorite cup of tea, or if you're enjoying some sort of quiet time and I want you to reflect on the question I'm about to ask what would a peaceful, joyful holiday season look like for me? Again, I'm going to ask that question and you're going to write that down five things at least. What would a peaceful, joyful holiday season look like for me? I want you to try and really visualize it, my friend. Picture the ways you can create that peace, from setting boundaries to embracing the small joys that make this season truly, truly special. So ponder on that and, of course, head on over to the Tea with Tanya podcast page to let me know the answer to that. You can comment on the recent posts or send me a DM, or even an email.

Speaker 1: 13:43

I really would like to know the answer to this so we can share, so we can continue to build and grow as well, because, remember again, the holidays don't need to be perfect. Let them be real, filled with moments that feel authentic and nurturing for you. Okay, my friend, I hope this episode has given you some sort of practical tools and a bit of inspiration to make this holiday season truly your own. Thank you so much again for listening to Tea with Tanya and I'm looking forward to hanging with you here in the tea tasting room again for the next couple of months as we navigate this holiday, chaotic, stressful season sometimes. I love you for listening. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.