34 Lessons Learned at 34: Navigating Life's Ups and Downs

Have you ever found yourself contemplating the lessons life has thrown your way? Join me, as I mark my 34th year with a heartfelt reflection on the pearls of wisdom I've gathered along this winding road. From the resilience required to navigate tough times to the art of empathetic leadership, each insight is a gem polished through personal trials and triumphs. As I celebrate a meaningful milestone for my nonprofit, kick back with me and discover the 34 life lessons that have shaped my journey, lighting the path for anyone seeking to grow through the good, the bad, and the cheesy.

Empowerment is a dance, and I'm inviting you to sway along to the rhythm of fostering a supportive and dynamic environment. Leadership is more than just occupying a space; it's about making that space matter. As we dissect the nuances of guiding with both heart and integrity, learn how to let go of the reins without losing direction. We'll also wade into the waters of professional and personal relationship dynamics, understanding that sometimes the end of a chapter can be the beginning of a story far more compelling. Whether you're balancing the demands of grad school or carving your path in the corporate world, you'll find solidarity and strategies in your own quest for harmony.

Our teacups may be empty, but the warmth of 'Tea with Tanya' lingers on. As we wrap up another session steeped in gratitude, I'm sending out an enormous thank you for joining me in this cozy corner of the world. Stay engaged with our community by following the Tea with Tanya podcast on Instagram, and quench your curiosity even further with our weekly Tea Talk newsletter. Until our paths cross again, keep these reflections close and continue nurturing your own growth—one sip, one step, one stone at a time.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Life's Lessons at 34
• 4:56 Navigating Leadership, Growth, and Change
• 14:52 Embracing Growth and Self-Compassion
• 22:33 Journey to Self-Discovery and Growth
• 35:35 Tea With Tanya

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living while doing all. Hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya. I am happy to be here in the Tea Tasting Room with you again for another week and I hope that within the last week since we've met here, you would have done something good for yourself.

Speaker 1: 0:40

It doesn't matter how big or small it is. You want to ensure that you're doing something for yourself at all times. For me, what did I do? I was able to finally complete a task, as it related to my nonprofit organization. I've been sitting on this task for like two weeks now and I did it and I felt accomplished. It made me feel like I could relax my shoulders. That's what I did for myself, and I also treated myself to pizza, because, of course, that's my favorite food and I haven't been craving it for a while, which is like, which makes me sad, but I was craving it and I'm like you know what? The body wants? Pizza. So the body is going to get what Pizza. You know what I mean, but I am excited to be back here in the tea tasting room with you by the time you hear this episode. I will be home in Antigua and I cannot wait to be in the nice sun and the sea breeze and go to the beach. So by the time you listen to this episode, I also would have been or would have celebrated my 34th birthday, which sounds crazy, I couldn't even get it out of my mouth just now. By the time this episode airs, I will be 34, three-four. Like what in the world? I was just like 15 the other day.

Speaker 1: 1:49

But this episode Survivor Solar episode I think it's going to be fun because I'm really talking about 34 valuable lessons that I've learned along the way. Right, that comes from resilience to relationships, from entrepreneurship to adulthood. I'm talking about that. You know, like 34 lessons I've learned by 34, navigating life's ups and downs. Some of these lessons I'm still learning. I'm having to repeat set of class so I can pass the lesson, but nevertheless, it was kind of hard at first when I was thinking about okay, what are 34 things that you actually learned within the last since you entered your thirties? To be honest and just you know, looking back from where life is where you were to where you are now, and as I began writing, it kind of became it became a little bit more easier to be honest, but still, it's still a heart and, like I said, I'm sharing this with you. If you have any feedback, you let me know.

Speaker 1: 2:37

But again, there are a lot of lessons, because I'm a student of life, but these are some of the ones that stood out to me when I think about where I am now versus where I was and how resilient I am, how strong, how mature I am from a mental health standpoint, mentally mature, emotionally mature. But anyway, let's get in to 34 things that Tanya has learned at 34. And these are in no particular order either. Okay, friend, I'm just telling you as they came to my mind. So one is learning to be resilient. I think that life is going to throw you curveballs, life has thrown me curveballs. But resilience is about bouncing back stronger than before. It's about embracing the challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. And I've said this before in the past. Again, as it relates to resilience, you know, bouncing back from adversity, embracing the challenges, you know it's about cultivating inner strength to overcome any sort of obstacles and, you know, just thriving in the face of adversity, to be quite honest. The next one is one of my favorite. It's about turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones. For me, every setback is always a chance to pivot or move forward. You know you want to reframe obstacles like reframe these obstacles as stepping stones on the path to success. So these are some of the things that you know, some lessons that I've learned thus far. The other one is about becoming a better leader as a nonprofit founder and business owner. Now let me just say this Leadership is about empowering others and I've learned this in one of my public health leadership class that I took last semester. It's about empowering others, it's about listening with empathy and it's about leading by example. So you know you want to lead integrity and vision, and, of course, my team will follow.

Speaker 1: 4:24

On one of the previous episodes I mentioned, we spoke about confidence, what is in relationship, in life, what is your appearance and whatnot. But for me, sometimes I find myself questioning my role as a leader. Sometimes, because sometimes I want to be the fun, cool leader, the leader that's going to give everyone free will to do what they want. Then, at the same time I have to put my foot down. I have to be, you know, speak with authority and just let people know. You know what? Yes, tanya is a fun, cool leader, but we also got shit to do, like we got work to do as it comes to, as it relates to our community.

Speaker 1: 4:56

So sometimes I often question my, my role as a leader. How good am I, how effective I am? And, like I said, you know I'm working on, I mean, I've always been this way too, you know, listening with empathy, leading by example and, of course, empowering others. I think my team can attest to me being an effective leader. But at the same time, it's always challenging because, you know, everyone doesn't necessarily move at my pace. And, as a leader, I'm having to realize that I don't want to be the leader who's going to micromanage. I don't want to be the boss that's going to be like oh, you have to do X Y Z or you need to. I want us to have a fun working environment. But sometimes I do question my role as a leader, not only from my team's perspective, but having to be in the face of Scrabble, life Care and having to be out there asking for funding X Y Z. Sometimes I'm like you know what? I don't have the motivation all the time to do it, so I've just been working. You know what being a leader is not necessarily how often you're showing up per se, but it's you know the time when you actually show up. How are you maximizing that time as well? So definitely want to lead by example and lead with integrity.

Speaker 1: 5:57

You know I've also learned what it navigate relationships that don't work out, and not every relationship is meant to last. And there's an episode early on in Tea with Tanya featuring Michelle, where we talk about not every relationship is going to last, not every friendship is going to last, and also having to put people in different categories in our life. And that's one of the things that stood out to me on that particular episode with me and Michelle. It's not meant to last and that's okay. The most important thing is that we are learning from past experiences. You know we're going to cherish the memories and we're going to move forward with grace and gratitude.

Speaker 1: 6:29

I've been in a situation recently this year where a relationship that I wanted to last for eternity it didn't work out and that's okay. You know, that's okay. There's no need for us to beat ourselves. Of course I'm here. I learned from that experience. There's a lot of things that that particular experience in that relationship, friendship, that taught me a lot. So I did learn from that, as it relates to myself, but also when it comes to dealing with other people, and of course I do cherish the moments. Every now and again I'll smile, I'll get emotional, but of course I'm going to move forward with grace and gratitude because, again, not everything is meant to last and some people come into your life for a season or for a reason, as they say.

Speaker 1: 7:07

You know, I had to learn about what it really meant to balance, doing it all Like when it comes to being a grad student, navigating life as an adult, like they did not prepare us for adulting, like I was having a conversation with my best friend and we're just like some of these things, that, especially as an immigrant coming here to this country, it's just a lot that we were not taught. As it relates to becoming an adult and being an adult navigating life here as an immigrant, it's just crazy, you know. But having to balance my academic pursuits with my adult responsibilities and my day job can be challenging, has been challenging, is challenging, but I find that it's also an opportunity for me personally and professionally to grow. So it's like an opportunity for personal and professional growth, like I'm stretching myself. You know I'm learning more about staying organized. I've always been a pretty organized person, but sometimes it gets chaotic in this brain and it's like you know what, girl what. But you know I've learned about staying organized.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Definitely, I will say I have learned to prioritize self-care, because one thing I'm going to do is sit in my bed or lay on the couch and I'm going to watch a TV show, I'm going to read a book, I'm going to do something, go and get my facials, whatever it is to prioritize my self-care, whatever self-care means to me. So, whatever self-care means to you, you definitely want to prioritize that. And, of course, I have learned to lean on my support network when I needed to. Sometimes, again, I am pretty independent. I would consider myself a strong friend, although I do have a couple of people who are my strong friend as well.

Speaker 1: 8:36

But, realizing that I'm in grad school, relationships are changing because we've moved from talking every single day on the phone for hours to maybe just texting across all platforms. You know the WhatsApp, the Instagram, the TikTok, the Twitter. Like you know, we're having several different conversations on all platforms, but just realizing that. So I think I felt guilty for becoming too busy, because I've always been busy to an extent, but I feel like I was able to manage my busy and compartmentalize a lot, but I didn't go out of school into the mix child, manage my busy and compartmentalize a lot, but I didn't go out of school into the mix child. I'm already an overachiever and I didn't go out of school, working full-time, building a nonprofit, growing, building this podcast, doing everything. It became a lot and sometimes I become the person that wouldn't respond to a message until hours later. Or sometimes I will see a message but because I don't have the capacity to even respond to the message, I will just leave it until the next day.

Speaker 1: 9:26

Honestly, but definitely, I've learned to really and truly lean on my support and not feel guilty. I have definitely learned to trust my gut, okay, so I'm telling you the lessons that I've learned and I'm encouraging you and telling you also what you need to be doing. Doesn't matter if you're 21, 25, 18, 15, it doesn't matter. But take it from me, this wise young lady who is becoming even more wise, but our intuition is really a powerful tool and I've always heard that, never realized exactly what it meant. So, definitely, I've learned, and I want you to trust your instincts, that gut feeling. Let me tell you it is never almost never wrong. Whenever I, tanya, do not follow my gut or my intuition, I end up in some crap. I have no business, because I either can foresee it or because I'm going against my gut, it always ends up in some sort of issue for me. So I've really and truly been leaning to my gut. I don't always like to because it's like no, I don't always like to because it's like no, I don't want to do that, but I have to. You know what I mean. So you definitely want to do that. Even when the path may seem uncertain, you don't know what's going to come. You know your gut oftentimes knows what is best for you. So I'm telling you, of the 34 things I'm trying to list here for you, if you do not hear anything, we are at number six. Learn to trust your gut, because your intuition is a powerful tool. You want to also think about growing.

Speaker 1: 10:47

Life is a journey of continual growth and discovery, and that's what I've been experiencing, that's what I've been living within the last year and a half you know I want to I've learned to embrace change, because there was a point in time where I told myself me and change don't go together Like I can adapt and adjust, but sometimes it really heightens my anxiety sometimes when I have to change, and I've become more open to the idea of change and taking it with in strides, you know. On a more positive front, so definitely, I've embraced change. I have been learning to seek new experiences and never stop learning, because I am all. I consider myself a professional student, because I am a lifelong learner or student of life, okay, and I like the fact that I've not been able to seek new experiences, things that I didn't think I would do, I am doing and it definitely feels good, all right.

Speaker 1: 11:38

Next up, I have learned to embrace imperfection. Now, granted, I know that nobody's perfect and that is what makes us human, but I think I mentioned in an episode about confidence where I've had to learn to embrace my flaws and imperfection because, again, they make us unique and people would tease me because, oh, you have more gummed in teeth when you smile, or your neck is long, or you have big lips, or whatever it is or you're not a great listener or you're too impulsive, all these things that are being thrown at me, that describe me to an extent. But again, it's my makeup. It's my makeup. I'm unique. I am learning to embrace that Everything cannot be perfect, sometimes showing up to record a podcast where I want to make sure that the audio is perfect. It's not going to always happen, but what am I doing? Embracing that and just rolling with the punches.

Speaker 1: 12:27

You know, the other thing is that I've become really consistent with and sometimes I do follow up, but for the most part it's being consistent, it's really and truly practicing gratitude, like I've worked really hard to cultivate a mindset of gratitude for the blessings that I've received in my life and I'm encouraging you to practice a mindset of gratitude for the blessings that comes into your life. You know, it doesn't matter if it's big or small. We talk about celebrating small wins. We definitely. It doesn't matter. You have to be, you have to show gratitude for that, because it didn't happen, it happened for a reason and it happened in the right time as well. You know, I think gratitude fosters resilience and it also helps to attract positivity, and I'm all about that. When we come into the teaching room. It's all about promoting positive living, because we're here to foster that resilience, because we are all resilient and we can continue to build and grow from that.

Speaker 1: 13:20

The biggest thing for me let me just say this, friend, and I'm still working on this it's about setting boundaries. Okay, I'm going to say that again Setting boundaries, that's what I have. That's one of the biggest lessons that I think I've learned as I approach, or made it to the year 34, you know, from even entering my thirties. So setting boundaries, you know it, comes down to knowing your limits and knowing how to communicate them assertively, in a respectful manner. You know, when we set a boundary, it's essential for us to preserve our well-being and maintain any sort of healthy relationships, and I've had. You know I'm not always consistent with setting my boundaries, because I'm known to set my boundary, but then I keep moving the goalposts for fear of someone not liking me or respecting me. But I've gotten to the point now if you cannot respect my boundaries, then I'm just going to have to categorize you in a way that you don't have access to me, the way that you probably would do, because I'm all about maintaining healthy relationships. I don't have the time to be going back and forth. I don't do arguments, I just I don't have the time for it, unless it's not a healthy argument. I'm not partaking in that. So one of the biggest things that I've learned is really and truly setting boundaries and how it makes me feel. Setting a boundary and actually sticking to it and not moving the goalposts for me has brought me so much peace. I'm not perfect. I'm still working my way, because I have found myself moving my boundaries sometimes, but for the most part, I think I've grasped what it is and how it makes me feel as well. So definitely ensure that you're setting your boundaries and sticking to it.

Speaker 1: 14:52

The next thing is seeking help when needed. Now, again, I'm always the person that most people would come to for help. It doesn't matter what type of help it is. I'm that go-to and I've had to shift my mindset or compartmentalize me, not even having a good day or not having the capacity to assist someone or be a listening ear and again, that comes back to boundaries not exercising my boundaries. But I've also learned that it's okay to ask for help when I need it, and that's what is coming from my friends, my family or even my therapist Because, again, what I realized is seeking support is a sign of strength, but not necessarily weakness, and sometimes I think society makes us believe that, you know, if we ask for help we're weak.

Speaker 1: 15:34

Are we supposed to be this strong person? The life that I'm living? I cannot live this life without my family, my close friends and even my therapist. It's what keeps me sane, it's what helps me to balance every single thing that I'm balancing in my life. So, definitely, I've learned to ask for help. It's not always comfortable. I will say that it's not always comfortable. I'm here telling you oh yeah, ask for help when you need it. Me having to ask for help. I have to overthink. I got to go to the bathroom mirror, I got to rehearse the speech, I got to get my shit to tone as well. Listen, the most is what I do. So I'm really and truly trying not to anymore. So I've learned and I've been leading into asking for help without feeling embarrassed, because it's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength as well.

Speaker 1: 16:17

Embracing failure is also another thing that I've learned. Failure is not the end and for a moment in time, as old as I am, as mature as I am, as much as I know, that is not the end. I have often taken it as the end, like, for instance, I got a particular grade this past semester. It wasn't a grade that I wanted. What did I pass the class? Absolutely. Was I over here beating myself up for not passing the class with the grade that I wanted to pass the class with? Hell, yes. But I just remember sending the screenshot of my grades to my therapist, telling her how disappointed I was. I said this grade should have been a this. And she's like girl, you're playing. She's like these are amazing grades. I said, yeah, but this particular grade should have been an A. You know, send it to my best friend, send it to everybody. And they, oh, this is, you did so well. And I'm like I'm not get. You know, and I'm looking at it like you know, here I go. I failed a semester I have not because I passed the class. How is that even a failure? But the point is that's just me being an overachiever, but failing anything.

Speaker 1: 17:13

I failed out of nursing school. It's not the end, the life that I'm living now, the career that I'm building, if I did not experience that failure, I wouldn't have been ready for the life that I thought I was going to have while at the end of nursing school. You know, so really and truly, look at failure as a stepping stone to success. You know embrace failure as a valuable lesson. You know valuable learning experience and use it as a catalyst for your growth.

Speaker 1: 17:39

I've also learned to find joy in the little things. Like I'm just realizing that my life now is made up of smaller moments of joy, and it's why I often tell myself I need to take things one moment at a time. Before I used to say one day at a time. I was like no, I have to take my life one moment at a time, take time. I've learned to take time to appreciate the simple pleasures and just finding beauty in everyday life. It doesn't even matter what it is. Back in older, younger me would think that you know, finding joy had to be this grand thing and it's like no, I am getting older and wiser and I'm realizing that. You know it's just important that we take time to appreciate the simple pleasures and finding beauty in our everyday life.

Speaker 1: 18:20

Practicing self-compassion is another thing that I've learned Real and truly. I have had to learn, through therapy as well, that I have to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion that I would offer a friend or anyone in need. Because, let me tell you, I will go above and beyond for the people that I love, friend, the community that we serve, whatever it is. I will do that with a heartbeat, without hesitating. But then, when it comes to myself, I am either hard on myself or I'm not extending grace to myself or showing the same kindness that I do for others, and sometimes I ask myself am I being fake? Because how is it that it's so easy for me to show for other people, be kind, be compassionate, be helpful, be gentle, but then, when it comes to myself, I'm so hard on myself. So I'm still learning to practice self-compassion with myself, and I'm learning to be gentle with myself even during the difficult times, because if not me, then who you know. That's one thing that I'm working on.

Speaker 1: 19:16

I'm also working on cultivating patience, because the things that I have patience for and then, when it comes to myself, I don't. It's crazy. You know, as they say, a woman's not built in a freaking day. Okay, neither is our success. So we definitely. Again for me, when I think back where I was at 23, 24, 25, and where I am now, at 34, the life that I thought I wanted back then is not even the life that I have now, and I'm really a firm believer of nothing happens before it's time. You know I've had to cultivate patience and, of course, perseverance as I continue to work towards my goals. I'm fortunate enough to have accomplished some of my goals and I'm still working on accomplishing some or still working through the goals that I've already set up for myself. So that's really good, but that came from cultivating patience that I've already set up for myself. So that's really good, but that came from cultivating patience. I am not always patient, but for the most part, you know, it gets the job done and it's helping me to grow and become a much better person to myself.

Speaker 1: 20:20

I am still learning to embrace change, like change is inevitable, like I know that, but it also can be transformative and I'm realizing that more and more. Like the change that I've experienced at the beginning of the year. I'm like, oh, my goodness, you know what's going to happen, but I'm realizing more and more that that change, that I didn't want to go through, that because it made me so uncomfortable, it became transformative. I am learning to embrace change as an opportunity for growth and even renewal. So definitely learn to embrace change, it doesn't matter where you are in your life. Learn to embrace that change. And then, of course, you know, I am learning.

Speaker 1: 20:56

I am still freaking, learning to celebrate my successes, whether it's big or small. I think sometimes I feel like, you know, maybe I'm showing off if I'm celebrating my achievement, you know, it doesn't matter how small it is. I want to be able to celebrate that. Of course, you know, because each level of success or each success is real and truly. When I think about my life, it's a testament to my hard work and my dedication. You know what I mean and it's the same thing for you.

Speaker 1: 21:22

I think about my sister, chloe. I'll give her a shout out because by the time this episode airs she would have been graduated that's about a week, a week or so, two weeks from New York University with her master's degree in public health and global health. And I remember, you know, sometimes because Chloe and I we're pretty much the same, we're overachievers, we literally try to find a way to save the world, like literally, like we're trying to heal the world one conversation, one action, one community at a time. And sometimes she has a hard time with realizing what she's accomplished. I'm like girl you went to top school. In high school you went to Spelman College, a top HBCU. Then you went for your bachelor's. Then now you're at NYU literally why? You literally graduated with your master's degree. You know you're working for a company that you are helping to build. You are building your own company that I can't wait for the world to even see. And sometimes I'm having to stop to remind her. As much as I stop to remind her, she has to stop to remind me Because, again, we don't often think about celebrating our achievements because we think you know what it's becoming like we're showing off, when in fact you know what it's becoming like we're showing off, when in fact you know what we just have a healthy respect for ourselves at this point in time. So we should be able to celebrate that.

Speaker 1: 22:33

Learning to practice. Continue to practice mindfulness by being present in the moment and creating mindfulness or cultivating mindfulness in my daily life. You know that helps to reduce stress. It helps to reduce my anxiety, honey, okay, it enhances my wellbeing, you know it. It. It helps to foster inner peace.

Speaker 1: 22:51

I'm not always as consistent as I would like to be, because sometimes when I become overly overwhelmed or overstimulated, I just I shut down. I am now realizing that about myself, so I'm trying to find other unique techniques to help me with decompressing and just making sure that life is what it's supposed to be Finding balance. I think balance is the key to a fulfilling life. But again, with the many things that I do, sometimes it can be challenging, but I am learning to prioritize myself more, prioritizing some relationships, even work, and even activities that I'm doing in my spare time, because someone told me that one time I think it was my therapist I'm not sure I need to maintain a sense of equilibrium and when they said that I was like you know what? You are absolutely right, you are absolutely right. So I am still working through, working on finding balance, because I'm not sure what finding balance looks like for me.

Speaker 1: 23:40

Yet the biggest thing that I've learned is to say no. I can know saying no is not selfish, but it's also an act of self-care and a boundary setting, and I've oftentimes pushed that boundary, that saying no. If I'm saying no, I'm over-explaining why I'm saying no and I'm just like at this point, no is no, it's a complete sentence. End of story, like learning to say no to commitments. That doesn't even align with my values and my priorities, learning to say no when it comes to doing a favor for someone, learning to say no when it comes to doing a favor for someone, or just saying no. Sometimes I just.

Speaker 1: 24:15

I'm at the point now where I do not have the capacity and I'm realizing that it's okay to not operate at 100% capacity. I could operate if I want to give myself 60%, that's okay. I'm going to operate at 60 and that's my full. That's that's how much I can give. I cannot give. I'm not going to be 100 all the time. I can't, and before I thought that I had to be operating at 100% capacity, which is why, instead of saying no to certain things, I would say yes and then end up stressing myself out I can't anymore. I have learned to say no and I am still learning.

Speaker 1: 24:43

To be honest, one of the things that I'm realizing about myself is that I tend to invest in relationships, whatever level of relationship it is. I always can see the good in other people. Sometimes and this could just be me choosing my own harm, but I think I'm able to see the good in others that they can't even see in themselves, you know. And then that would cause me to invest in some relationships that weren't even worth me investing my time or energy. So, really and truly, you know, relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. Yes, Right, but it's important that we invest time and effort into nurturing meaningful connections with others Because, again, not every friendship is going to last and every connection is meant to last a lifetime. So you have to be mindful and be intentional with who you're investing your time in.

Speaker 1: 25:32

Practice forgiveness for me. I've had several dreams where I've had to forgive certain things from my past. I'm not a person that hold on the whole budget, so I don't have the energy for that, but I practice forgiveness towards myself and sometimes I think I have. I've developed resentment towards certain things, or I regret handling certain situations, or I did you know the way younger me did, and sometimes it's still weighed on me but now I'm like you know what I need to let go. I've had several dreams, several revelations, and I had to forgive myself so that I can continue to be the better version of myself. And let me tell you the minute I did that, I said is this how God feel when he forgive us of our sins, because the minute I learned to actually through therapy as well forgive myself, I've seen myself flourish and I've seen myself growing. And, of course, again I keep trying to forgive myself for certain things that I am not always proud of. You know, I found my passion in maternal reproductive sexual health. I I found my passion in maternal and reproductive sexual health. I'm making strides in other activities Again, practicing and prioritizing that self-care, finding things that are going to ignite my passion and just bring me joy and really and truly just fuel that motivation and creativity. I'm falling back in love with planning podcast episodes, recording podcast episodes because of the feedback that you guys are giving me. Maybe that's an external validation, but I look forward generally to recording a podcast episode because I genuinely believe that we are sitting here in a tea tasting room across from each other having tea sipping, laughing, talking about life.

Speaker 1: 27:06

Someone once told me recently that I've always told you the thing that they say. I've always told you to be yourself, and when the individual said that to me, I was very confused because I'm like this is who I am, this is authentically who I am. I'm not sure what you mean by oh, I always tell you to be true to yourself or be yourself. I'm always myself. I'm kind, I'm compassionate, I'm gentle when I'm ready, cause I can be. I can be with her on the edges too.

Speaker 1: 27:37

But one thing I've learned, and I've been honing in within this last year, is to stay true to who I am, stay true to my values, my beliefs and my identity, even in the face of any sort of adversity. You know I cause I I've I've shifted my personality, has shifted some things about me to accommodate other people. I'm going to be honest, but more and more within the last year, I'm like you know what it's too much, it's too taxing on me mentally and emotionally for me to be out here not being my true self or sharing about my authentic self. And this is how I am. What you see is what you get. I am kind, I am crazy, I have my flaws. You know flaws and all you, but I am accepting who I am in that way. So I am. I have learned and I'm still learning to stay true to myself because, again, I am a recovering people pleaser. So you know how that is and I've been deep in that. People pleasing life that you know working out, to be coming back to be my true self. It's still. It's still a work in progress. To be quite honest, you know I'm facing any phase head on.

Speaker 1: 28:32

Again, as the founder of a non-profit organization, I get nervous when I have to speak to individuals who are in authority or if I have to present. Sometimes I get nervous and I think I get nervous about the future. I'm fearful about what's going to happen. But I think courage when I think about it. You know, courage is not the absence of fear, but it's also the willingness, the willingness to act despite it. So it's important that you face your fears head on, you know, and watch as they lose their power over you, because, I'm telling you, when that fear has that power over you, child, it's very hard to even progress in life.

Speaker 1: 29:13

I have been investing in myself. Personal growth is a lifelong journey and I'm realizing that more and more and more. And as I continue to invest in myself, you know what is true education or any sort of self-reflection, or just learning more and more about who I am as a person. Again, tanya at 25 and Tanya now at 34, it's completely different than Tanya. She's still crazy. I'm still out here, my personality is still crazy and vibrant and very attractive, but my mindset has changed so much that, like I said, I am a lifelong learner of life. I'm a life student, student of life.

Speaker 1: 29:44

One thing I've been trying to do and I've been doing this for the last year by keeping tabs in my gratitude journal is I don't necessarily wait for a special occasion to express gratitude. I'm very faith-based. I'm like you know what Faith without prayer, faith without work, you know, is at this point why? So I often, always make sure that I take time each and every day to acknowledge the people who are a blessing to me. I'm going to tell you I love you. I'm going to tell them to appreciate you. I, people who are a blessing to me, I'm going to tell you I love you. I'm going to tell them to appreciate you. I'm going to be grateful for the many blessings that I have in my life. I'm grateful that I was able to celebrate 100 podcast episode here in TV Tanya podcast. I'm grateful to be able to make the connections that I made in life, that they can continue to propel me forward in my life as well. It's just been an amazing feeling, really, and truly. Well, that has just been. It's just been an amazing feeling really truly practicing more empathy because, again, I think that's like the uh cornerstone of meaningful relationships and effective communication. So I definitely try.

Speaker 1: 30:39

I have been trying by way of my sisters, because they've they've put, they've held them up to me. You know, I'm trying to put myself in other people's shoes sometimes and try to understand their perspectives before making my own assumption or formulating some sort of making some sort of judgment when I shouldn't have. You know, I have let go of the idea of being perfect, because perfection right now is an illusion. I have let go of the need to be perfect and that's across our boards, whether it's on social media, home, show up here on the podcast, home. I'm just, I can't. Trying to be perfect or trying to be near perfect is too much work and I do not have the energy. So I've learned to embrace my authentic self in perfections and all, like Beyonce says flaws and all you know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 31:20

I am learning to take more risk and that cause I thought I was and I do, but I'm really not learning just to take more risk, to get out of my comfort zone and sometimes to take calculated risk or just embrace any sort of new opportunities for growth and adventure, things that I said I would never do. I've done and it just it has been bringing me peace. You know I have found my purpose. You know, discovering, discovering your purpose, my friend, you know it's a transformative journey and that's why the podcast was even renamed TV Italian, transforming Every Aspect. Because it's a transformative journey when you're able to explore your passions, your values and even your strengths to actually see myself walking in my purpose and continuing to grow in said purpose as well.

Speaker 1: 32:17

I have found beauty in diversity because I really do believe, especially being a nonprofit founder working in the maternal and reproductive health space, our differences really make us stronger. So I have embraced I mean, it's not like I never embraced diversity, but I've found a new, found respect now for embracing diversity and just trying to celebrate that richness of experiences and perspectives that it brings. You know, building a support network I've talked about building a community here in the podcast or just in general in our lives and when you're able to. I've surrounded myself with people now who uplift me and inspire me, because sometimes I mean, I've always had majority of that people, but for the most part too, I've always been the one to uplift others, pour into others and sometimes I'm pulling from an empty cup and not have that reciprocated. So to finally to have my village, that I've been had, but to also add more pieces to that network, that community it really has like it's like that strong support system that I have on network. It's like it's invaluable. They're there through the lows, the highs, the in-betweens. They're there and I know I can depend on them and I feel confident and honored that you know what I actually do have a strong support team and even here in the podcast, building a community of like-minded individuals here in the podcasting space and just networking with different people from different professions. It has really brought me peace and just made me feel like I am in my purpose for real.

Speaker 1: 33:45

And the last one, because I feel like I've been talking like we're finally at number 34. Now I can breathe, living with intention, living with intention. I am working and I have been living my life with purpose and intentionality. I am mindful of how I spend my time and energy and I'm very mindful when it comes to how my you know, aligning my actions with my values and my goals and when I say when I've gone against me not living with intention. Again, my life goes haywire. So this is the last thing I'm going to leave with you. I want you to live with intention. That's what I've learned over the last several years now.

Speaker 1: 34:23

But as I come into approaching that mid-30s mark now, because I'm 34, you know what I mean I'm realizing that I really do have to live with intention and live with purpose. So I definitely want to encourage you, my friend, to everything that you do live with intention. And that's all I got. Seller Girl, I brought the greetings. Do something, let me feel good. I want to thank you again for joining me here in the Tea Tasting Room for another episode.

Speaker 1: 34:49

I know I'm sharing 34 things I've learned, but thank you for joining me here on this journey of self-reflection and growth. As I celebrate turning 34, I still cannot believe I'm saying that, but as I celebrate turning 34, I hope some of these lessons that I have learned and are still learning, I hope they were able to resonate with you and inspire you on your own path Because, again, remember, life is a continuous journey of learning and evolving and every experience is always going to be an opportunity for growth. So again, my friend, until next time. Let's keep learning, let's keep growing and let's keep shining bright Shining bright like a diamond. You know, let's do that.

Speaker 1: 35:35

I love you for listening and I can't wait to be back here in the Tea Tasting Room with you. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you liked this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.