Thrive By Embracing Exercise with Joshua J

In this episode of Tea With Tanya, Tanya delves into the transformative power of exercise with special guest Joshua J, a visionary, entrepreneur, and African Mind from the Western Hemisphere.  Joshua is also a coach, creator, and personal trainer known for his unconventional approach to fitness. Together, they explore how exercise reshapes not only our bodies but also our emotional and mental well-being, offering insights and practical wisdom for listeners looking to embark on their own wellness journey.

Join us as we uncover the layers of how exercise reshapes not only our bodies but our very essence. I've invited my personal trainer, Joshua, a beacon of inspiration with his unconventional approach to fitness, to share the wisdom that's redefined my outlook on wellness. Our exploration takes us through the mental landscapes where resilience is cultivated, from overcoming the inertia of a sedentary lifestyle to embracing the vitality of renewed goals. We touch on the often overlooked role of sleep in optimizing our gains, recognizing it as a cornerstone of holistic well-being that nourishes both body and mind.

Tune in to this week's episode and be emboldened to carve your own path in the holistic pursuit of health and fulfillment.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tea with Tanya. I'm your host, tanya Ambrose, an average millennial navigating life as a maternal health professional, non-profit founder and grad student. Join me in the tea tasting room where we spill the tea on finding balance and promoting positive living. While doing it all, hey friend, welcome back to another episode of Tea with Tanya transforming every aspect. I am your host and I am joined by someone very special. You know us a little about all my guests anyway, so I guess he is special to me. But we're going to be talking about thriving by embracing exercise.

Speaker 1: 0:38

And the reason why we're talking about this, because, if you've been listening to this podcast, the last year or so I've been trying to be on my health and wellness journey. I've fallen off and I met this individual a few months ago in a gym. He was helping me with some exercises. He was being crazy because exercises were very, very, very hard for me. Anyway, nevertheless, since then, since January, I decided I was going to take my health and wellness much more seriously, because I'm trying to get snatched. I'm trying to get my emotions and my mental health together, because the beginning of this year didn't really start how I wanted it to start. But since then, I found a trainer who's not only my trainer but sometimes my therapist, even though I have my own therapist. But nevertheless, let's welcome Joshua here to our tea tasting room.

Speaker 2: 1:25

Tea tasting room. That's exquisite Like. Is there a certain way I'm supposed to like Talk?

Speaker 1: 1:31

Yeah, talk, it's a tea tasting room. Be yourself. Spill the tea. We like the tea. We're nosy people here in Tea with Tanya, so just tell us about yourself and what you do.

Speaker 2: 1:40

I'm Joshua, I'm a personal trainer. I do have my own facility, just kind of like. You know you explained. You know, to a certain extent, a lot of what I do personal training wise is intentional. I'm kind of working on my own modality of personal training that is a lot more inclusive of the other parts of the body, or the mind or the soul as you speak about it. So it is a bit more than just you know, one set, two set. You know one rep, two rep. Or you know squat press.

Speaker 2: 2:10

You know I try to engage with my clients in terms of conversation and not just, like you know, over talking or not really getting through the workout and the premise of that, but allowing them to express themselves and, you know, really contract and release, you know, when it comes to muscles but also the mind. So there's a lot more to it than that, you know. But that is basically the direction that I'm headed when it comes to everything that I'm doing with personal training. So you know this. But at my facility I've tried to incorporate a lot of the other senses, whether it's sight, smell, you know, outside of just the tactile, you know, feel of sweating or contracting your muscles, you know things of the sort. So, yeah, it's just. I really try to appeal to the entire sensory system and just create a theme based on the person's goals or where they are in their life and what exactly they're looking for, because people give a surface level explanation as to why they want to work out and look the way they want to look, but there's a lot more to it than just that.

Speaker 2: 3:12

Oftentimes in my position, I find people that are on the surface level that tell you yeah, I want to get in shape, but on the other side it's kind of like, yeah, on the other side it's kind of like, you know, I'm piecing myself back together, this type of shit. So, yeah, that's a little bit about me and what I do, but you know what? I'm noticing something as we're live right now. I didn't really tell you all about me. I told you about what I do Exactly.

Speaker 1: 3:43

I mean, we know Z.

Speaker 2: 3:44

We need to know more about you, yeah, about you, yeah, but my journey to health and fitness, it really, if I'm going to be honest, like and maybe this is something that you know you collaborate on another episode or whatever but my purpose found me. It wasn't necessarily like I was going through a multiple choice, you know what, what career I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. It found me in the essence of like me, you know, my relation to fitness. I was never like the star kid athlete growing up, you know. I mean, athletics came on the later side of my Really, yeah, absolutely. Now, I was a chunky kid, you were chunky Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 4:19

You know what I'm saying. So it's just kind of like that that's not my background, even though a lot of people will assume that as they see me today. So it kind of like found me in the essence of like I would begin to work out in my early teenage years in relation to sports, so I started playing sports and then, of course, a part of playing sports is you work out. You know you got to do conditioning and so I came to found that I enjoyed the conditioning part more than the sport. You know what I mean, and a part of that is just how I'm set up emotionally. Personally I tend to be. I can be a very reclusive person at times. I do like spending time to myself. So team sports and doing things as a team, as a unit, with people that you know, it's not like I got to choose everybody that I play with.

Speaker 1: 5:02

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 5:02

So it's just kind of like you know what I mean, and what they were on at the time is not necessarily what I was on. And so eventually, you know, I started to realize like man, what am I really getting from this? You know, I did, I did enjoy the camaraderie with other people, but you know, at other times it's kind of like yo, you know we don't have what I mean.

Speaker 2: 5:21

So it's just kind of like I started to realize, like you know, what I really like about this is the conditioning. And once, you know, went through my senior year, I didn't play any sports from that point on, but I still kept up the conditioning and I would work out, you know, run and all this stuff, and so I'm always in the gym and things of the sort. And then, lo and behold, people in my circle or people that they would see me consistently. You know they'll be like yo are you a trainer? Do you train? You know, let me work out with you. That's how I started. Let's work out and I'm like lay you into my private space. What do you mean?

Speaker 2: 5:52

Like this, I'm in my head the whole time I'm working out the last thing I want to do is be concerned about somebody else keeping up or what weight they want to do and all this other type of stuff.

Speaker 2: 6:00

So, because the invite would be so close, they wanted to work out with me, and I just couldn't grasp that concept at the time because that was a very private personal space where I was flowing through things ideas, thoughts, emotions, feelings, you know, finding my identity.

Speaker 2: 6:16

And so eventually I looked at it from the perspective of like personal training, being a personal trainer, which created a level of distance but also consciousness, to where, okay, I can be attentive to another person with the intention of helping them. It's not about me, it's not about what I want to do or how I need to feel in the moment. You know what I mean. We can make it about them. You know what I mean, and so to this day, you know it's still a differential thing for me between somebody working out with me or me training them. Yeah, you know what I mean, so, but it's like that's kind of how I found my niche, because eventually, when I did start a personal training, the version of me that I was working on, you know, I started to get a mirror or reflection from my clients.

Speaker 1: 6:57

I like that.

Speaker 2: 6:57

You know what I mean, because we're having conversation and it's like yo, you really know what you're doing. Or you really know what you're doing. Or you know I'd have had other trainers and I didn't get the results. Or you know I enjoy being in that space with you. You know what I mean Because at the same time, while I'm pushing myself, challenging myself, you know I am a human being, so I'm having my own thoughts and emotions. Or you know you're just an hour of my day, right, so it's not I just come here like that in a lot of you know customer service quote unquote in you know jobs, like whether it's you know a barber, or you know a stylist, or you know you know where you're in that close, intimate space with that person, whether it's 15, 20, 30 minutes or an hour. And it's a lot easier to relax and be at ease or enjoy the experience when you have something to talk about or they give you the space to be human. You know what I mean. And so that's where that kind of started to me.

Speaker 2: 7:47

I was like, oh, I think I like this, and then I'm very intentional about who I train, how I train, and eventually that came to a point where it's like you know now, I started developing the idea of getting my own facility and creating my own brand Because there were things in commercial gyms or other gyms that I didn't agree with. You know, I didn't want to train everybody. You know what I mean. Everybody don't have the intentions of training for training and things of the sort. So yeah, and then, and it became expansive, but it's at this point I had a broad range of you know who I considered myself to be and what my interests were and how I wanted to live my life before I started training, and I didn't want it to become encapsulated into just training. So, like you know, my life is probably fitness-wise, maybe 20, 25% of my thought process. I don't really think about fitness Really All day, every day. No, not in the way that the industry would look at it. No, really.

Speaker 1: 8:43

Yeah, Like you know what.

Speaker 2: 8:43

I mean. So it's just kind of like no, not in the way that the industry would look at it, no, really. Yeah, you know what I mean. So it's just kind of like, but I had to integrate my other interests into fitness because if this is how I'm going to make my living, then I want to do it my way and my brand and with my own modality. So I bring those other things with me. So you know that. And our sessions we talk about a lot. You know what I mean, whether it's like social, you know political things, or mental health or you know what I mean so yeah, see.

Speaker 1: 9:07

Here we go. Well, I'm trying to figure out. When you say, when you said, that you are intentional with who you train with or who you, I guess, bring on as a client, what does that mean?

Speaker 2: 9:19

Why I bet it, you, you wouldn't, you would have never made it into. You know what I mean, absolutely because I have to see. You know what I mean. Yo, you gotta talk you first. You have to talk.

Speaker 2: 9:30

You know what I mean then I have to see what you know, what your goals are, what your intentions are, and then I have to see it as it plays out into a session, and so it's just kind of like you know so I, I'm just your ideal classmate, you're telling me, because I become plain every time I come here. You complain?

Speaker 1: 9:44

Yeah, and then comply Everybody complain and comply. It's not easy.

Speaker 2: 9:48

You know what I mean. It's easy and that's another thing you have to. You have to, it's easy. That's like if I was a chemist teacher and I expect you know somebody to come into my class and pass with flying colors, like that happens. But that can't necessarily be my expectation, because you don't view what I do and what I know from the same perspective, like you coming to me for help, like help me. You know what I'm saying and this is something I've been doing for, you know, 10, 15 years. So, yeah, so it's just kind of like you know I do, but cause everybody don't have the same intentionality. You know what I mean Because when I invest in my clients, in my clients, I invest, like you know, it's a part of my brand, my dream, my vision, the people I train, because I get the feedback from you guys, you know I'm saying y'all, let me know what I feel like I could do better on every level, like when I think about something that was, you know, the facility or the brand is.

Speaker 2: 10:38

It's a reflection of my desires, wants and needs and interests, but it's also a reflection of my clients.

Speaker 1: 10:44

I hear that For me, I grew up in a sporting family. Yeah, I grew up playing almost all the sports you can think of. So when I think back, I'm very old now. When I think back to my high school days, I was active. I was always playing, whether it's music or sports. We were doing something after school, and I think then I was living my best life because, of course, I didn't have much responsibility besides waking up, going to school, coming home, thinking about bills or anything. But then I moved to this country almost yeah, almost 15 years ago, and the very first year I came to the United States, like that, was the last time I left Antigua in 20. 2009 was the last time I did any sort of sports or anything.

Speaker 2: 11:23

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:24

So I came here and I didn't really get fat, but I became lazy when I went back home. I couldn't even play basketball or netball the way I used to, because I got Americanized. So that's why, for me, it's been harder for me to get into working out Because, like you said, you became in love with the idea of conditioning versus just the actual sports. But that was me. So I would always start and stop working out because I'm like I didn't know what my goals were as it related to working out. For me it was more so.

Speaker 1: 11:52

Oh, you know, you're an athlete, you go out with a sports and family, x, y, z, so that was just the reason behind. Oh, you know what? You should be active. I shouldn't be fighting for air when I'm climbing a flat or two of stairs. You know what I mean. But, like I said, last year, I decided that you know what I needed to get rid of this tummy that I have. I needed to get my legs toned because, again, as an athlete, I always admired my legs. You know what I mean. No, I'm just like you're giving fat turkey.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Not fat turkey.

Speaker 1: 12:21

Like a turkey leg, you know, yeah, I get you.

Speaker 1: 12:23

Yeah, but no. So then when I started the gym and I saw you and you were telling us X, y, z, you were very knowledgeable. I will say he is very knowledgeable when it comes to anything fitness related, and just from a mental health standpoint, emotional health standpoint. So why? Because I feel like I look forward to working out with you. I mean, let me see, do I? It's the one hour out of my day that my mind is not racing, because my brain goes like a mile per second. At this point it thinks about so many different things at the same time. So whenever I walk into this gym, I'm like, okay, I'm going to complain for a little bit, because that's who I am, but I'm going to comply.

Speaker 1: 12:59

But I'm realizing that it's not just about the physical aspect of working out. It's also about the mental and emotional well-being. So how can you explain to the listeners why is it important, how can we incorporate working out or exercising into our daily life for us to improve our well-being then, because I think some of us we're like, oh, I want to be snatched. I've been telling you all the time, but still, for me now it's more about my mental and emotional health. So how important is working out or being physical, or being you?

Speaker 1: 13:25

know Like how important it is, yeah, like for well-being, because I don't think we realize that. You know it's like I mean you know we live in an information age.

Speaker 2: 13:33

You know where we got phones, televisions. You know whether you work from home or you. You know you work wherever you work at in front of a laptop, desktop. There's probably a TV there too.

Speaker 1: 13:45

And like I said, your phone's there.

Speaker 2: 13:46

So to a certain extent, I guess I can leave it to you. You know what I mean. How do you want me to answer this question? Because I can give you the cliche list that everybody's done already.

Speaker 1: 13:55

We don't do cliches. We don't do cliches.

Speaker 2: 14:01

So it's just kind of or I, most people kind of got the idea like, oh, you need to. You know work out number one, you know, to help with your heart health, to help with whatever you may have you know as a disposition biologically, you know what I mean, just hereditary, you know what I mean. So, and then of course, you know blood flow to the brain, the release of hormones and endorphins and dopamine. You know what I mean Boosting your mood, and you know increasing the quality of your sleep and your mobility and fitness. And I'm not saying this stuff to downplay it, it's just that most people have heard this. You know what I mean to a certain extent. But to me, to kind of put a little bit more context on that and you know me, I'm a philosophical person, we know Well, I know. So you know what I mean. It's kind of like, as I answer that question, as an expert, you know what I mean To a certain extent. On a character level, the why matters, but as an expert, the why don't matter.

Speaker 2: 14:51

It's kind of like, and I'm going to say this it's kind of like when you're asking somebody why they go to church, it matters that they showed up. You know what I'm saying. So it's just kind of like people go to church for plenty of reasons. You know what I'm saying. Not all of them are good, but it's like to the pastor. He's looking at it like yo come as you are, I'm not about to crush you and ask you why you came here, but I have a, you know, I mean I have a connection. I got to connect you to the message. Or you know deliverance or you know whatever. You know religious, you know denomination, you are. I need to connect you to this source of God. Basically All right. And it's kind of like.

Speaker 2: 15:27

So I don't really go through the Rolodex of telling somebody why fitness is important Because most people haven't heard it, but it's also kind of like it just matters that it's important to you, in whatever form, fashion that may be. So you may be like yo. I looked in the mirror today and you know what I mean. I ain't like what I saw. Or you may be like yo I just need to get something together, or I need to accomplish something just to feel in control of my life. Or it may be that you know I have I walk around with a lot of tension that's, you know, sourced emotionally. But coming in workout feels like a release to me. I feel like it's a form of carthasis where I'm able to release something. You know what I mean. It's so many other. It's a plethora of reasons why fitness is important, but I don't like to condense it to a narrow few because that can keep people from being drawn into it.

Speaker 1: 16:15

Does that make sense.

Speaker 2: 16:16

Because they may feel like well nah, it ain't that serious.

Speaker 1: 16:18

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 16:20

But you don't know what it is until you in it. So, with that being said, though, you know it is important, you know we are going to go down a roll of days, but confidence, confidence on probably one of my key reasons why I would say it's important. Of course, you know, to be aesthetically pleasing, you know it boosts your esteem, it boosts your confidence, but also to give you a sense that you are able to take on a task, accomplish it and get better at it. You know what I mean. In a world where we don't really have control over a lot of things that we should or we would like to, this is something that you could start. You know what I mean and feel like you are making a change or a difference in your life, actively and every day. You get better at it, literally as long as you stay consistent, so it can create a template or a platform for you to take on a lot of other things in your life. You know what I mean. I know that's a broad philosophical answer.

Speaker 1: 17:09

I don't think people are expecting that. You know what I'm saying. It's you, but it's just kind of like yeah, I think for me. Yesterday we worked out and I think you were trying to kill me low key because you started adding more weights. I don't know who told you. I was there in my growth as a gym girly, but I remember after the workout I went home and I was recording an Instagram story talking about me losing sleep Well, actually sleep and not going to a divorce. But the premise of that story was to talk about. I was trying to give gratitude to people who were doing it to my nonprofit, but I was like you know what? I'm operating off of 12.

Speaker 2: 17:41

I'm going to cut you off real quick, cause even when you said that to me in person, cause if you, you need to be responsible to your listeners she just said that sleep and her going through a divorce and I just wanted to follow that up with means. Eventually, if you and sleep are going through a divorce, you and your brain are also going to go through a divorce. Because that is you know one of the number one key indicators of Alzheimer's and dementia, and these so that's why I was getting that so a person responded to my my.

Speaker 1: 18:04

She was like you know, you set yourself up for dementia. I was like a girl, I'm trying to sleep more, but I can't help it. So I wanted to ask you, like, how does working out? Because last night was the first time in a long time, my friends, that I actually slept for more than five hours. So I had a really good workout yesterday. I was actually compliant, I wasn't really complaining. But again, how does working out impact or promote any sort of longevity as it relates to reducing, you know, improving our brain health, managing stress and anxiety and depression? Because again, I'm not sleeping. I don't know why. I mean, I know I have anxiety sometimes, yeah, but how does that, how does working out, I guess, help our brain health? Because you say I'm over your step myself with alzheimer's and dementia and all that yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2: 18:46

So the thing about it is, of course it's a, it's a stimulus for different hormones. So, like we mentioned, dopamine and endorphins and things of the sort. When you think about movement physically and then you think about, you know, I guess we could say movement cognitively there's a principle that people may have heard If you you know you don't use it, you lose it. You know what I mean. And then also the other part about that is in relation to, like you're saying, with restoration and sleep, is the growth that you make outside the gym is externally larger than the growth that you make inside the gym. Yeah, so it's like you know the the growth part, you know what I mean or the enhancement is happening outside the gym. I tell people that all the time, like the 23 hours that you spend outside of seeing me is way more important than the hour that you see me. This is just the stimulus, this is the catalyst to stack all those other things up in your favor. So it's just kind of like you know, recovery is a big part of that. Like restoration, like what you do, you can have a killer workout, but if you don't go to sleep, it don't count for nothing. You're just running out your adrenal glands. You know what I mean. So it's just kind of like you know that is key, high, key, important. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 19:54

When it comes to the larger goal, or the larger picture of overall health, is how you live your life outside the gym. You know what I'm saying. It's going to determine the effects of what you've done in the gym. You know what I mean. And when you get specific to brain health again, you know cognition is something that you're definitely exercising as well throughout a workout. You know what I mean. Whether you're counting your repetitions, whether you're still going through the basis of just logistically using your motor skills, you know what I'm saying. And then, of course, like, like I said, you bring in the biochemistry with the release of certain hormones. You know I mean, and so these are things, that these are pathways, basically, that you need to be using functionally every day, and so that's the crazy thing. So I mean, if you wanted me to be honest, right, yes, and I you know. You know it's just a phrase that people say when they're setting up to say something Poses on bullshit.

Speaker 1: 20:44

Yeah, you know what I'm saying, yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:47

But like that's crazy. But the idea of gym is really some luxury. You think so A hundred percent. Why? Because it's just like you get this space that you could come in and you got these machines and these equipments where you could mimic functional movements that, technically, if our lives weren't set up to be so sedentary, we would be doing anyway for more of a purpose. You know what I'm saying hour plus and can afford that time to be like yo. Let me go to this condensed space that has equipment where I can mimic movements that I otherwise would not be doing in life. You know what I'm saying it's kind of crazy, but it's a luxury that we afford it. You know what I mean, like if you and I hate to really kind of take it this far, but you know, thousands of years ago there was no need to work out because you was doing so much, not even thousands.

Speaker 1: 21:42

Hundreds, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 21:43

And for a certain demographic, a lot of hundreds. You know we could take ourselves back 100 years ago, you know what I'm saying, and our energy expenditure was all the way through the roof. You know what I mean, Because of whether how hard we had to work, or you know enslavement and things of the sort. Roof, you know I mean because of whether how hard we had to work, or you know enslavement and things of the sort. So you know it's a, it's really a luxury idea to be like I'm going to work out. You know I'm saying think about that in the context of, you know, you know humanity in general. You know I mean work out. You know I mean think about that. Oh, I'm gonna work out I mean yeah, why not?

Speaker 2: 22:19

you know, hey, I'm not trying to be funny. I don't know how much humor you put on yourself, but could you imagine getting in a time machine, going back 300 years, getting to your ancestors?

Speaker 1: 22:28

alright, guys, let's work out what the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2: 22:32

we work times. You know what I'm saying. Like it's also it's a luxury man. It's something that we afforded in our society.

Speaker 1: 22:43

I mean, I think we underestimate the importance, as you say, of working out. I don't really like the term working out either. I prefer to be more physical or some sort of physical activity. You know the smallest things, but again, as you say, for me I don't think I'm sleeping well enough, even after a workout, besides last night. So again, why is that important? How is working out?

Speaker 2: 23:08

So here's the thing right, and I'm going to go back into what I introduced in terms of the time that you spend out the gym being so crucial and critical, if not more than the time you spend in the gym. The same way, you come into the gym and you say I'm going to do four sets of this for that many number of reps and I'm going to take this exact rest period and we're going to go on to the next exercise. You need to be just as intentional about sleep. Right, like right now, if you came in here to work out and I had a pit bull you know what I mean in here and he's barking and he's you know what I mean. He ain't trained and he's biting and shit.

Speaker 2: 23:40

Could you work out? No, me, no, you know what I'm saying. Most people couldn't. I mean, I don't know nobody that would be able to do that. You know what I'm saying but at the same, because you in a high anxious state to where you in a fight or flight response, you're like find out, he will actually bite me, like this is crazy, that can't work out. It's the same way sometimes in people's inner relations and their intentionality to go to sleep. You have to look at it and I need to create a safe space.

Speaker 1: 24:08

Okay.

Speaker 2: 24:09

I like that Right and I need to be intentional about what I'm trying to do with sleep and I need to look at it in the same lightness that I say I'm going to run for two and a half miles or for 30 minutes and I'm gonna set up this playlist, I'm gonna get my sneakers, I'm gonna run in a space where I feel safe and I'm not gonna trip up or whatever.

Speaker 2: 24:26

Like you need to take the same level of thought into going to sleep and recovery and realizing the importance of it. Like if I, if I, was to be a sleep coach and be like, all right, we're gonna do seven sets of one hour. You know going to sleep starting at you know nine o'clock, phone off, tv off, you know the room need to be this. You know whether you, because you know a lot of sensory input also goes into you making that transition to sleep. So here's a little bit more I can tell you guys about myself, because this is I bring a lot of thought into what I do.

Speaker 2: 24:58

So when I said earlier, oh, it's a modality, you know that's not no BS, it ain't no bullshit. It's like I've done a lot of experimentation in my life. So one of the things I did when I was like 13, 14, a lot of you not I took the TV out of my room, I went to, I got my mom to take me to Walmart and I I had got these. I can't think of the term that they used for them, but basically anti-light blinds Like blackout curtains.

Speaker 2: 25:28

Not blackout curtains. The blinds themselves would not let no light in. I mean that you know what I'm saying, yeah, so, like my comforter, my bed sheets, I got them, you know a dark navy. True, and my comforter, my bed sheets, I got them, you know a dark navy, you know what I'm saying. So, basically, if I cut the light out of my room, it was pitch black, but I did that because I'm a reader and I read that.

Speaker 2: 25:49

Your room, your space, right, because you are in it. Think about how often you're in your room. You know what I mean. When you're going to sleep or whatever you're doing, it's important for your body to biologically interpret that you're making the transition to rest. Most people have so much stimulating me. Sit in a room and the tv is 60 inches.

Speaker 2: 26:09

You know I'm saying, and you got all these photos up and you know you, and all due respect to humidifiers, because that could be another sensory input that helps with restoration but you, you got, you know this, you know the licorice scented candle, like you know what I mean. Like yo ain't nobody going to sleep in here. You know what I'm saying. You expect for your body just to cut all this shit off. Help yourself.

Speaker 2: 26:29

You know what I'm saying. Yeah, so you know what I mean. That's what I mean when I was making the metaphorical, you know thing about the pit bull being in the gym, and you got to do the same. You got to be just as intentional with creating that safe space to get your body to biologically interpret. Every time I come into my room, I'm going to sleep, I'm going to rest, you know what I'm saying. You work on that habitually. Sensory input is something that people man if you really understood you know, creating that, that, those habits and those environments and the things you do day to day you know what I mean that really have a very large, astounding effect on you.

Speaker 1: 27:12

I mean, I get that Cause for me. I'd be like, okay, I'm going to go to bed, I'll take a nice long shower, do all my little skincare and all this body cream, everything you can think of, and then when I get into bed, I'm doing something else on my phone. Like I'm either responding to an email, sending an email, or I'm typing in my notes what I'm going to do tomorrow and then, before you know, it is like 1 am. Yeah, but I Very hot shower among those people I'm doing all these things to make sure I can be relaxed.

Speaker 1: 27:39

But then the minute I get into bed, I'm either reading on my Kindle or I'm on the phone doing something, thinking about the next day and the next day, and the next day. So then, before you know it, it's like 3 am, 1, 3 am, and then I got to be up in two hours because I'm an early riser.

Speaker 2: 27:55

Yeah, that's even more reason why around now. But I ain't minimizing the idea of the word. You know I get it, but you need to set boundaries. Hey, you know what I mean. On yourself, Ooh.

Speaker 1: 28:07

Okay, so you're going to come in here and kind of drag me in on my own podcast, talking about boundaries for myself. Yeah, absolutely. Tell us more. How can we create boundaries?

Speaker 2: 28:15

as it relates to working out regulating everything around you. Regulating it, you know, I mean setting boundaries on yourself like people it's crazy. You know I'm yeah, I mean because you know me. So, but people like it's crazy, you know what bump it. We'll go here, you know I mean t since it's t, it's crazy to me, you, I mean how motivated people can be depending on what their intentionality is Like. We could be so scrambled to say I don't know how to apply myself or in a certain way in my life to get this expected. You know, outcome that I want, as it may pertain to sleep or how I want to look or whatever. Right, and they can read all the books and talk to all the coaches and trainers they want to, but if the boyfriend breaks up with them now, they ready you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Now we geared up. Now we geared up to go work out.

Speaker 2: 29:12

We do whatever, getting everything together.

Speaker 1: 29:14

I'm going to stop you right there. I'm going to stop you. It's like yo what?

Speaker 2: 29:17

What? Or when you start talking to people about boundaries and then you know the boyfriend does something or the toxic ass come up oh, I know exactly how to set boundaries then it's like yo, that's crazy. So do incorporate the same thing into your life, intentionally on yourself, as it pertains to something that you desire to enhance or better or change about yourself. You know what I mean Without it having to take some outside stimulus on a T level. You know what I mean Without it having to take some outside stimulus on a T-level.

Speaker 2: 29:41

You know what I mean, and what I mean by that is like you know, romantic relational BS, Like it's just crazy to me. And you know, just take it a step deeper, since I done opened a can of worms when it comes to that subject per se. It's just crazy because oftentimes the boyfriend probably was saying the whole time yo, you should work out, let's go work out, and then when they break up, then she's so motivated or he's so motivated to go to the gym, or it's just crazy, or you know I'm probably telling my business a little bit, but I'm like when I first reached out to you back in January, I'm like let me go on this personal trainer.

Speaker 1: 30:16

One of the reasons was because if I had to get up at 5 am to go to the gym, it wasn't going to happen, especially when the weather was cold. If I had to go to the gym after work when it's like dark at 4, I'm going to go home and go into bed, right, or I'm going to pretend to do some workout on YouTube where I'm not even doing it with as much intensity as I should. So I'm like okay, if I get a trainer, I know I have to show up for the trainer. Or to the trainer it wasn't more like oh, you know, it's me, it's more of him. I don't want to disappoint said trainer because I don't want to waste their time, cool.

Speaker 1: 30:44

But then also my intention behind working out as well was I was going through a little challenging time from a relationship standpoint and Because you know this body already looking decent enough, let me look at this body so it can be the Kelly Olin or the Beyonce type or the Tiana Taylor type body, right, so that this said person can be like oh, I let this one go, I'm like, but then again, like girl, really All about your physical being, like, your mental or emotional or whatever. But as I started getting to know you, we were having this deep conversation Because, guys, when I first, the first day I walked into this gym, he was like oh yeah, what's up T? I'm like. First of all, you don't even know me. Why are you calling me T? You ain't even close to me, you're not even family. Why are you saying what up T you?

Speaker 1: 31:25

know, but nevertheless, we started having these deep conversations and I'm like, okay, my workout is not because I'm trying my mental well-being, because, again, I was hurt, my heart was working, still working. But yeah, you know, working through that and just realizing that I actually look forward to that one hour a day with you, because not only am I obviously getting my body together, but that that mental emotion like I leave, I leave the gym every time being grateful for the fact that you know what. You are, as intelligent as you are. So here I go, guys, on my own podcast but whatever you are as intelligent, but it's not more.

Speaker 1: 32:01

It's not about oh yeah, let's do four reps of this. Yeah, whatever exercise we're gonna do is more so about how are you feeling today? Like where you mentally, where emotionally, how can we ensure that this workout is going to benefit you not just from a physical standpoint, but you know emotional well and mental well-being. So, and you mentioned earlier about self-esteem and confidence, and I think, for me again, I grew up playing sports, so I knew I had the nice legs, I knew I was just this.

Speaker 1: 32:25

You know shellyanne fraser price and the jamaican sprinter I had her body, you know but realizing that in recent times, like, okay, you know what, you're getting a few, a few pounds, because you know we're getting older, yeah, and then realizing that, okay, I can see something that I can do with this body. But now, whenever I leave the gym, I have a walk. Like you know, megan Thee Stallion, she's like you know, she got this. I forgot the name of her song, but she said, oh, she got this, whatever.

Speaker 2: 32:48

Yeah, I'm familiar with Megan Thee Stallion and I know I know, I know what walk she's talking about.

Speaker 1: 33:05

So for me, no, when I'm, when I leave me, I'm not on the runway, like you can't tell me. I'm not, I'm not a model I don't have, like, I have some level of confidence now. So tell me, or tell us how, like what's the science behind when you work out and you have the intention behind your workout that it gives you that boost of confidence, like so that's you know.

Speaker 2: 33:11

I was kind of touching on a little bit earlier. You know, with the, you don't, you don't use it, you lose it. You know it is a stimulating thing on every level. You know what I'm saying On the level in terms of like I'm using my muscles and my cardiovascular system is working. You know what I mean. My nerve endings is firing, you know, but also my neurons. As I'm learning, you know what I mean. And as I'm learning in terms of movement, I'm learning in terms of esteem and what I can accomplish and what I can do. I'm learning in terms of esteem and what I can accomplish and what I can do. I'm learning in terms of my body, but also, if you have a trainer like me, you're learning in terms of life and your position in life, and it's a great time.

Speaker 2: 33:51

The only other time and I say this with a small one myself the level of growth right that you have in the first two years of life is so astounding, like your brain is just multiplying itself every second right, while at the same time, you're discovering I got a foot and toes and hands and you know the gym is a space in life where you could replicate that. You know what I mean. It's not going to be on the same level. You know what I mean. It's not going to be on the same level, but you can fire off neurons and nerves, muscles, heart, thoughts, emotions all at the same time.

Speaker 2: 34:26

That's exactly goes back to what I mean about sensory input. So it's just kind of like you know, and you can have things input it and you can also have things output it. It's the same way as in when you inhale and exhale. You know what I mean. So it's just kind of like you know the confidence. Really, if you want me to be honest, it's something that I don't think. It's something that the gym puts in you. It allows you to feel yourself on every level. So when you leave, you're feeling yourself, although you may not feel like yourself because you're exhausted or you're tired. Whatever, you are feeling yourself. You ever took a yoga class?

Speaker 1: 35:00

I have, but I mean I struggle you straight about. Like you ever, I didn't understand that you know it was from like a mind, like a mindset, or mentors, but I was like you know, I'm not that flexible which uh one time. I never went back, all right I'll be honest.

Speaker 2: 35:15

But so I've taken a few and one of my favorite parts about it is you know the end when you lay down. You know I've been to a couple and they would put like a cold cloth on top of your forehead. You know what I mean. And when you leave that place, man, you hear it all the time. People say I feel so limber and it's because your body awareness, your self-awareness has increased, because it's been challenged. You've summoned that part of yourself. So there's something.

Speaker 2: 35:44

I want to say philosophically, but I don't think we had a time for me to fill it out all the way but it's just like the confidence that people feel like is being important to them is always there. It's always been there. You just haven't been aware of yourself, or we put so much on ourselves so many layers, so many coping mechanisms or defenses that oftentimes we never really get to the core of how we feel and who we are. You know what I mean, but that's always there. You know what I mean. It's just about being able to see yourself, feel yourself, and the trajectory regardless of what you felt like when you came through the door, when you leave is that I am improving.

Speaker 1: 36:21

I like that. Say that part again. I like it. I mean, oh, say it again. Oh my gosh, you don't forget.

Speaker 2: 36:25

No, but the trajectory right, regardless of how you are when you, you know, arrive when you leave is that you are improving. So it's just kind of like you know that in itself is a part of that confidence that we talk about, or esteem that we talk about Like one of the things you know. I like to tell people all the time, depending on what they talk about, like, let's say, hair. You have male or female to say. You know, I want to grow my hair out, but then I got to go through the ugly stage.

Speaker 1: 36:51

You've heard that before, of course, right, or I got to you know, or I decided I want to grow my hair out, but now, or?

Speaker 2: 36:56

I decided I want to grow my hair out, but now I'm looking at photos of some guy that got like 30 inch you know locks, and so it eats away at you know cause I'm not there. But it's like, if you just think about it in terms of like every day your hair is longer than it was the day before.

Speaker 1: 37:09

Okay, I like that. You know what I mean, yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:12

So if you take that perspective and apply it to anything in your life, really it's an esteem booster. You know what I mean? Yeah, so it's like I could have came into the gym today a hot ass, broken down, mess but when I left I felt like I've done something to better myself, basically, it's funny you say that, because that's what I always say at the beginning of each episode.

Speaker 1: 37:34

I hope you would have done something for yourself at least once in the week, because we don't give ourselves credit enough for that. Myself included, I'm, like you know, okay on to the next one, on to the next one, on to the next one, but then not realizing that me even showing up to even work out with you, like I'm part of myself, and I just realized that recently Because, like you know, I don't want to go, I'm complaining, but then, now I'm at the, actually look forward to working out because I know what it's going to do for me during and then after. So that's, that's one of the things that I like. But before we go, as we're wrapping up, I want to talk about community, cause, you know, I think that's when you're where you and I bonded the first time, because I have a nonprofit, you have a nonprofit and we're all about our community, especially you as a black man in this country as well. So how tell us how the social aspects of exercise and how can it foster connections and community as well, because I think that's a big thing For me. I feel like you're part of my community we talk about.

Speaker 1: 38:27

I have another episode that we're going to be talking about community and the importance of building your village. We often hear about oh, you know, when you get pregnant you need a village which is going to be your parents or whatever. But I'm realizing now that our village doesn't have to be our immediate family. Of course, you get to build, you know, you get to create what your village or who is part of your village as well. So what are the social aspects of exercise? How can it foster community and connections?

Speaker 2: 38:52

So, like you, know community to me, man, you know I'm all about that, you know. So when you bring that word up, it's like, hey, you should have brought that up.

Speaker 1: 38:59

That should have been the first question.

Speaker 2: 39:01

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 39:02

So it's so many ways to kind of tackle what you just talked about, especially as it pertains to fitness. We can go with the most surface man. I have a fit family, you know, and family is the way that I approach fitness to a certain extent, because it's a relationship and you have relationships. Basically you know what I'm saying. But I think to take it a bit further than that, you know I've seen it have drastic effects on people. You know, in group classes, you know, or I have clients that never really work out together but as they're passing each other session to session, it creates a sense of community. It's like all right, you know he killed me today. I hope you're ready. You know what I'm saying. It's simple, little comments like that that foster a sense of community. It fosters a sense of belongingness, it fosters a sense of family and plenty of people share this where you know you may not be in the same city or state as somebody, but y'all the foster and sense of community. You know, a relationship essentially. So to me that's kind of like the surface aspect of that. But as we talked about, like you know, nonprofits and things of the sort, the not so surface level of that is, I feel like you know, when you learn certain things right and people could say this on so many levels but when you start working out and you get the benefit of working out you know whether it's in how you look or how you feel, or you know the results you get from your yearly checkup or whatever it's like you start to want to share that with other people. You know what I mean. Now that could become an issue for a lot of people that don't know how to communicate healthily, or you know whatever, but you want to share that with people. You A lot of the clientele that I have is through word of mouth.

Speaker 2: 41:00

I feel so good about what we do here, what I've been able to accomplish here. It's all I can talk about. When somebody asks me what's going on in my life, I'm like well, i's a big. Do you understand how much a contribution that's been to my life? And they share that sense, and it just broadens the sense of community. To me, though, it's the pathway to that I want to utilize to do larger things in the community, right, and so like.

Speaker 2: 41:20

If I didn't make it kind of clear earlier, I'm in this transitionary state to where I'm enhancing the idea of me being a trainer and creating my own modality, because I feel like I'm a lot more than that. Yeah, you know, I don't really like to condense myself to that word, really, you know. I mean, I know you're saying what you're saying, you know presented, but I'm not a, not a trainer. You know what I'm saying. I'm able to use this as my platform, basically to launch into things I want to do, you know, larger in the community.

Speaker 2: 41:49

But it's also a relatable ground. It's a relatable base. It's the way that I can introduce a concept or conversation or self-awareness to somebody and have an immediate effect on them in their life. You know what I mean. And that's the pathway or the gateway into doing a larger evaluation on the quality of life, on their ideas, you know, or their ideologies and their practices and their behaviorism and the way that they think, and you know, and just broaden that from an individual to a communal level. So I'm not just here to go on the news and tell people they need an apple a day, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 42:26

But once I get on the news and I tell people they need an apple a day and I become that apple guy, I plan on taking them somewhere else. Yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:34

I mean, I like that answer because I think it sums up, you know how you can thrive by embracing exercise. That's why I'm like OK, I'm thriving. I don't like you some days because you you try to kill me unintentionally. You try to kill me unintentionally. So, as we get ready to wrap up, I want to ask you how does consistent physical activity contribute to building resilience and coping skills, especially as it relates to the challenges that we face in life?

Speaker 2: 43:01

I mean, I know you can't answer that question early, but you know, so you know me. I'm a broad thinker, right, and I'm pretty sure that's probably come across in this episode to people that's listening. The first thing that my spirit is moved to speak on when I when I hear that question is that it's not the end, all be all. You know, I mean oftentimes, if you listen with a keen ear to the answer that I gave about myself, right to me, I coped through working out right. That's why it was so hard for somebody to come to me and be like let me work out with you, because I've created this world in my head about you, you know, I mean to where I needed to be away. But and put my like, if I'm working out, if I'm tired, if I'm exasperated, I could.

Speaker 2: 43:43

I could essentially be pushing off my emotions, you, you know, what I mean and that showed up in my life a lot. You know what I mean. Oftentimes, very recently, through things I've been, through man, I went people probably not going to believe me when I say this. You know what I mean. Let's see, there was a period in my life probably, let's say, for five years life probably, let's say for five years I may have missed the gym a total of 10 days. I thought it was going to say one, but okay, maybe it might be one.

Speaker 2: 44:18

Just 10 days, I mean that's still a little, but I really kind of inflated that number because I can't say it's one, but it might be closer to one than 10. But I'm talking about, like cause, that I started to lapse back into that coping mechanism. So saying that to say and I'm not saying that to to punch down on fitness, like when we talk about building resilience and coping, it's like I just wanted to point out the measure of that is that you know, you, it's just like I'm pretty sure a lot of people heard in life. You know, a good thing is not always a good thing. You know what I mean. So I want to push people on that subject to face what they feel like they need to build the resilience for.

Speaker 2: 45:11

Don't lean on anything. Face it and that's, that's a part of my responsibility. And when we have those higher level conversations about things, I'm not the trainer, that's, you know just going to let you lean on working out as a crutch. If you share that space with me, you know what I mean. So it's something nice to like. You said it's a catalyst. Working out is a catalyst to me, making a change in my life. But don't let it take this. Don't substitute it for a confrontation with whatever you're dealing with.

Speaker 1: 45:42

I like that. Well, on that note, we're at the end of our episode, but before you go, can you tell us one mantra or affirmation that you rely on in this season of your life?

Speaker 2: 45:53

One affirmation.

Speaker 1: 45:54

Or mantra yeah, because to me it's going to always be nothing happens before it's time. That's always going to be my life's mantra, because, again, I do a lot and I'm always trying to rush to the next and I don't sit in the present, I don't sit and acknowledge what I've accomplished or whatnot. So, and then, even if, if I were to fail at something, I'd be kind of like overly depressed or sad because in my opinion it should have happened at that point in time. Yeah, but my life mantra is, you know, nothing happens before it's time. And then perseverance is key.

Speaker 1: 46:19

So mantras, you know mantras and affirmations here you go.

Speaker 2: 46:24

No, I'm not. I'm not going. I'm not going to knock the concept because I do. It's just like when we were having a conversation about clothes earlier. I don't even know if we recorded that. But they find me A lot of you not right.

Speaker 1: 46:35

Here we go, I'll tell you this here we go.

Speaker 2: 46:38

First of all, I'm mad at my answer a little bit low key, but I got an answer from the heart. My mantra is actually a prayer at this point.

Speaker 2: 46:44

Oh, good, good this point, oh good, good, you know I mean, but it's not. You know a song or anything you know, but it's a prayer. You know. I'm telling people are familiar with it when it says god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. A lot of you not my therapist brought that up to me in the same same season, read it in the book right, went to classes that I had to take and the instructor said the same thing right, you guys should see how I'm looking at him right now, cause, like really yeah.

Speaker 2: 47:22

I've seen it on several like it's just been something that has been brought to the focus of my consciousness. Okay, almost sequentially in my life in the same season and almost instantaneously at the same time. That's a message.

Speaker 2: 47:39

Yeah, that's what I'm saying that's basically my mantra, that's basically my affirmation right now is accepting the know, accepting the things I cannot change, encouraging, having that encouragement to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. You know what I mean and it's like with me. You know what I mean. I like to put affirmations ahead, so I'm speaking that on my life. You know what I mean. As I go through my season, as I'm out of my season, I'm speaking it on myself. You know what I mean, but that's just the most recent. You know what I mean. I would have to say I remember another mantra I had through another season of my life it's crazy, having this conversation, just thinking about it that it basically was saying that after difficulty comes ease.

Speaker 1: 48:28

Ooh, I like that one Say it again After that.

Speaker 2: 48:30

It basically was saying that after difficulty comes ease. Oh, I like that one Say it again After difficulty comes ease. And I remember I was going through a very challenging point in my life.

Speaker 1: 48:36

I'm going to tell you that one After difficulty comes ease. Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2: 48:41

So they're very important to have mantras and affirmations, because you know, you know your first languages to yourself.

Speaker 1: 48:48

Yeah. And I think that you know when your first languages to yourself, yeah, and I think that you know. When we talk about mantras and affirmation, it's like it becomes a cliche. Oh, let me just say an affirmation, so I can be, you know. So you gotta always be intentional with what you're speaking over your life, because for me, life and death is always in the power of the tongue. You know, I'm a church girl. You know, bring that scripture up.

Speaker 1: 49:06

But I believe in the power of speaking positivity over your life, and that's always a lesson I gotta learn every single day why you and your church girl you know I mean faith without works is dead, though, oh exactly see, that's why, when you answer that question, I was like yo, I gotta really, I'm gonna really tell her.

Speaker 2: 49:25

I'm at your affirmation and people gonna get a scope of this now and be like, oh, what church you go to, or whatever, but you know me.

Speaker 1: 49:32

I mean we're going to come up to our core anyway. At any point, we're going to come up to your core.

Speaker 2: 49:35

You know me. You know me, I mean, but you know my core too. You know what I'm saying. That ain't you know?

Speaker 1: 49:45

you are who you are. Yeah, we'll accept that. Well, mr Joshua, thank you for coming on the Tea with Tanya podcast. It's been a long time coming kinda and I want to thank you for taking out time out of your busy schedule. Yeah, tell me about it to join me here in the Tea Tasting Room. It was a very fun conversation so hopefully my tea tasters, as we call them, my friends they're going to enjoy our episode.

Speaker 2: 50:11

Okay, any parting words? Not really, man. I feel like you know. Thank you for that. Let me just put this disclaimer here.

Speaker 1: 50:16

This is how our sessions in the week usually is that we'll be working out and he'll be running his mouth. Yeah, you know providing and teaching wisdom and back and forth and vice versa. So I think that he would have been a good guest to be on this Thrive and Embrace and Exercise. So we're not just talking about working out physically, it's on my mental and emotional well-being and, yeah, glad to have had you here.

Speaker 2: 50:40

I appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 50:41

Bye. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Tea with Tanya. If you like this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. Don't forget to follow on Instagram at Tea with Tanya Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to the weekly Tea Talk newsletter and, of course, rate on Apple or Spotify and subscribe wherever you listen. See you next time. I love you for listening.